I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
