he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
