dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
