I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
