ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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