I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
