ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
