Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
