im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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