so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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