you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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