hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
