shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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