Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
