i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
