I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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