We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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