If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
