So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
