O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
