I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
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I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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