I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
