mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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