He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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