How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
