there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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