Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
