I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
