Whats the glycemic index on semen?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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