i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
