Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
A+ Viking dick
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
