I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
