Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
