I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
