So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My ass is underappreciated
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
