Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
