i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
