the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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