i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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