apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
