We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
