fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
