Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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