I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
