You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
