So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
