Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
