hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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