I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
