Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
