I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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