Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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